Bible Study

Okay, so we have this ladies Bible study at our church that meets on Thursday mornings. I've never gone to it because I was already so busy with my life and I've gotten pretty good at saying no to extra stuff in my family's schedule. But this latest study that started yesterday...for some reason I just felt like I should go. I've felt like I couldn't because I only have Tuesdays and Thursdays when Cassie is at school and I can give the babies my full attention without competing with big sister. (They're all in school, or mother's day out, on MWF's.) But this time I wanted to go. I'm just so starved to get into the Word again. It's so hard to motivate myself to do much more than a 5 minute devotional on my own and I can't even remember what that was about an hour later. I need focus. I need accountability. And for some reason that didn't hit me until Wednesday night. A friend, Jennifer, had called and invited me and that got me thinking.



I was afriad too. That if I started going to the Bible study that I'd feel like I had to keep going forever. I've had church experiences before that expected that and I guess my fear is a remnant of that too. I fought myself going Thursday morning until I was in my car with the babies on my way to the study. I would think, "I could just keep driving and go walk the mall with the kids for awhile" but then my car took me in the direction of the church. This was so out of my comfort zone...maybe because there are so many ladies at this study that I don't know, most of whom are older and I just wasn't sure I'd fit in. Maybe because I was scared of taking on another commitment or not spending that time with the twins. But then it hit me that it's better for my girls to have a mom spending quality time in the Word on a regular basis and being that example for them, than it is to spend a couple more hours playing with them. Not that the playing isn't important, but I need to be the best Mom I can be and that's what's really best for them, right?

So I don't know if I'll be going to this study long-term or not, but I've gotta give it a shot. I want to grow deeper in my walk with Jesus. I need to fill up so I can pour out. Thanks, Jennifer, for inviting me. It was so sweet of you and made a big difference to me. Plus when I got there, I felt so welcomed and I think I'm gonna really like it.